Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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