I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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