you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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