I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
