Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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