There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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