your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
