I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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