I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
vagina is talking i cant
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
