Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
