I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
