He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
