I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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