you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
