Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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