In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
