everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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