Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
