the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
