I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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