he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
