is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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