hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will pee on everything he values.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
