it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
