That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Randomize
