is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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