I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
