Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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