i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
