i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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