Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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