it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
