Do you still have your period?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
