So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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