Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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