I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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