I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
