We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
