Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
