When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My ass is underappreciated
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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