there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
