P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
