Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
