I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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