Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
