I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
