K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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