just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
