Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
