I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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