watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
